


When the World Walks Out

by gemjam



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:38:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemjam/pseuds/gemjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With his life turned upside down, Adrian is unsure how to carry on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the World Walks Out

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks to zeraparker@livejournal for the beta.

Nico woke to the sound of piano music, soft and melodic, drifting through the slightly open bedroom door. He didn’t recognise the tune but he appreciated the way it flowed, languid notes that melted seamlessly together, a mid-tempo song that teetered just over into melancholy. Nico stretched his body against the rumpled sheets, letting the music soothe over him before forcing himself to move. He picked through the clothing that scattered the floor, finding his underwear and T-shirt and pulling them on before heading out of the room.

He followed the pull of the music to the living room where Adrian sat at the piano, completely consumed in his task. The entire room was littered with sheet music that hadn’t been there the night before, the pages spread out over the coffee table and sofa and floor. Adrian didn’t have any music in front of him though; he was playing something from memory.

Nico stood in the doorway and watched. Adrian was wearing only a pair of low slung jeans so Nico was able to see the way the muscles in his back shifted as his hands moved along the keys, his bare feet pressing down on the pedals. It seemed so intimate, seeing him like this, more intimate than everything they’d done the night before.

Nico moved further into the room, placing a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. He didn’t want to speak, to break the spell. He knew the words weren’t welcome anyway. He’d tried to talk last night, tried to coax out of Adrian how he was coping, but Adrian had just looked at him across the room and then he’d let his body tell Nico everything he needed to know.

As soon as Nico’s fingers made contact with Adrian’s skin, Adrian stopped playing, his hands stilling on the keys and his shoulders sagging down slightly. He didn’t seem surprised exactly, Nico hadn’t scared him with the unexpected touch, but he’d brought him back into the room and away from wherever he was in his head. He gave an audible sigh and then looked up at Nico, eyes blank and almost searching. Then he lifted his hand, taking hold of Nico’s fingers with his own, and stood, leading Nico out of the room.

Nico followed easily, well aware that the light grip was a question more than a command. There was an uncertainty in it, almost as if Adrian wasn’t quite sure if he was worthy of Nico, if he was taking more than he should be allowed. That was the worst part of it for Nico; not all the horrible things that had happened to Adrian lately, but that Adrian somehow felt like he deserved it all.

When they reached the bathroom, Adrian let Nico’s fingers slip from his own, leaning over to turn the shower on. He looked at Nico as he unfastened his jeans, revealing that he was wearing nothing beneath them as he dropped them to the floor. There was a moment of hesitation, Adrian’s lips twitching slightly, and then he stepped behind the flimsy shower curtain.

Nico pulled his T-shirt over his head before stripping off his underwear, looking down at the way his and Adrian’s clothes were discarded on the floor with little design, a copy of Adrian’s bedroom floor. It felt almost like they were deconstructing something, and Nico just hoped that one of them knew how to put it together again.

He pulled the curtain back, stepping inside the shower. Adrian had his head tilted back, eyes closed as the water cascaded over his face, hands running through his soaked hair. Nico watched for a moment, not wanting to interrupt. There was a kind of abandon in Adrian’s stance, a surrender to the idea that he might be able to just wash it all away.

Adrian lifted his head, swiping at his eyes as he blinked the water away. He held out a hand to Nico and Nico allowed himself to be led again, pulled in close until they were both under the warm stream of water together. Their bodies hovered just on the brink of touching and Nico could feel his breaths getting shallower, anticipation making his body sway ever closer. Adrian’s hand slid over his wet hip, giving a little tug so that Nico stumbled into him, bodies pressing flush together. Nico closed his eyes at the sensation, Adrian’s skin slick and heated against his own. He tilted his head up, hands going to Adrian’s shoulders to hold himself steady, and waited to be kissed.

Adrian’s mouth landed on his, tongue swiping demandingly over Nico’s bottom lip. Nico opened easily to him, leaning shamelessly into the kiss as Adrian all but consumed him. His touch on Nico’s body felt possessive, one hand going to the small of Nico’s back while the other tangled in his wet hair. It seemed like he was scared that Nico was going to disappear and become one more thing that had slipped through his fingers.

Nico slid an arm around Adrian’s neck, groaning into the kiss. Everything felt precarious, the floor slippery beneath their bare feet, but Adrian was so irresistibly warm and solid against him, strong muscles gripping Nico close. Nico daren’t move too much for fear of losing his footing, but he found he didn’t have to. The heat between their bodies, the closeness in the air, the intensity of the kiss, it was all definitely more than enough to get him hard.

The water that splashed down on them, running over Nico’s body, made him feel like he was being touched everywhere. Adrian’s hand moved down to his arse, squeezing the meat of his buttock before pressing their hips closer together and Nico felt embarrassingly turned on. He shouldn’t need this so much after everything they’d done last night, should be sated and fulfilled enough to slow down, but Adrian’s own desperation was lighting something up inside him and all he wanted to do was whimper and beg.

Adrian bit down on his bottom lip, tugging at it while his hand tightened in Nico’s hair. The twin sensations made Nico gasp, in both their harshness and their passion. Nico wasn’t sure how to separate one from the other. Adrian’s teeth released him, his tongue soothing over Nico’s swollen lip, but before Nico could groan in appreciation, he found himself spun around and pushed into the wall.

He put his hands out to brace himself, the tiles feeling cold in comparison to the heat of the water, the heat of Adrian’s body. Adrian pressed up close behind, fitting their bodies so perfectly together, no space between them. He kissed Nico’s neck, open-mouthed and indulgent, his hips rocking forward to rub his hard cock against the curve of Nico’s arse. Groaning against Nico’s skin, his hands skimmed down Nico’s sides, over his hips and back again before they finally slid down to find Nico’s dick, squeezing and massaging it with those long, clever fingers. Nico cried out, canting his hips and nearly losing his balance all over again. He was just starting to recover, settle into the wonderful sensation, when Adrian shifted his body backwards, hands sliding lamentably away.

Nico whined despite himself, hips rocking forward into nothing, when Adrian’s hands landed on his arse. His thumb traced the cleft, pushing down against Nico’s hole, almost breaching him, before continuing to slide down. He did it again and Nico found his hips pushing the other way, wanting more. Adrian spread his cheeks open and Nico shuddered at the feel of the water running over him, tickling and teasing the sensitive skin. He imagined Adrian watching him, the intense look on his face, and he pushed his hips insistently back again, asking for more. Adrian kept his hands steady on Nico’s flesh as he dropped down to his knees on the shower floor behind him.

Nico took a shaky breath, holding it. When he felt Adrian lick a wet stripe upwards his knees nearly buckled. When he did it again, all of the air came out of Nico’s lungs as a long, helpless whine. He adjusted his stance, bending over further, trying to get his feet wider apart without slipping. Adrian’s tongue touched him again, more focused this time, drawing little circles over his hole. Nico rested his weight heavily forward onto his locked arms, letting his eyes flicker closed as he concentrated on the wonderful sensation.

Adrian dipped his tongue inside before moving back to continue with the teasing little licks. He worked patiently, too patiently Nico thought, his own self-control fraying at the edges. He wanted Adrian to fuck him, with his tongue, his fingers, his dick, he didn’t even care. He wanted fulfilment for the lust that was building too quickly in him, threatening to make him drown along with all the water that was cascading over his body.

Adrian, however, seemed consumed with the careful pattern of what he was doing; using the tip of his tongue to draw circles over the muscles, licking with the flat of his tongue upwards, lapping gently against the delicious nerve endings. His tongue slipped slightly further inside with each maddeningly brief probe and Nico felt as if Adrian were trying to pull him apart from the inside out. There was something careful, methodical, in what he was doing that had nothing to do with Nico’s pleasure.

By the time Adrian finally climbed back to his feet, Nico felt open and ready and far too sensitive. Adrian leaned unsteadily against him, his thumb tracing down the cleft of Nico’s arse like it had before and then pressing gratifyingly inside. Nico made a pleased noise, hips shifting back for more. His arms were starting to shake so he folded them against the tiles, resting his head against his forearms as Adrian moved his thumb gently inside him, edging carefully deeper. His hard dick was pressed against the side of Nico’s arse and his mouth latched onto Nico’s neck, teeth grazing gently before he sucked hard on the flesh. It would leave a mark. The thought was strangely satisfying in the moment.

Adrian peeled himself away from Nico, his thumb sliding slowly out of his body, and then the head of his dick was pressing against Nico’s hole, a tight, heavy pressure.

“Slow,” Nico breathed, certain the word would be lost to the thundering water around them, but he thought that maybe he wanted it to be.

Adrian pushed forward and Nico keened at the feeling of his body opening up as Adrian slipped past the ring of muscle. It was like his whole consciousness opened up to a vast wonderful horizon while at the same time narrowing down to that one perfect point. Adrian edged gradually inside, friction dragging through Nico’s body and lighting him up. Everything was so tight, so close, and Nico couldn’t breathe. The water falling constantly over him felt like too much, a distraction from everything he needed to be focused on. His skin was overly sensitive, like it was stretched too tightly across his muscles, and the pattering of water from the shower felt almost like it hurt. He wanted to cry out but his lungs were burning so he concentrated on the feel of Adrian’s hands holding steadily to his hips and he used it to ground him into the moment.

Adrian finally stilled deep inside him and Nico shifted his body slightly, muscles twitching. He felt both restless and complete, torn between revelling in the indescribable sensation and moving his hips to spark it all up another wonderful notch. Adrian leaned over him, his chest sticking wetly to Nico’s back.

“Please,” he said, such utter desperation in his voice. It was the first word he’d spoken since Nico had arrived last night and he had no idea what it meant. “Please,” Adrian repeated, voice cracking, and Nico felt a clawing panic that he couldn’t understand what was being asked of him, didn’t know how to help. Adrian pressed his face into the back of Nico’s neck.

“It’s okay,” Nico told him. He wanted to reach back, touch him, but he didn’t trust himself to move. He could barely hold himself up as it was. Adrian lifted his head up, taking a deep breath, and then he began to move.

Nico closed his eyes tightly, letting himself get caught up in the friction of Adrian moving inside him. It was slow at first, almost careful, as Nico’s body adjusted to being opened up. Nico set his breaths with each of Adrian’s thrusts, breathing out every time Adrian pushed deep inside him, a groan pushing from his lips and helping to release the tension. He wanted more, needed more, and when Adrian was finally moving smoothly inside him, hips slapping against Nico’s arse, Nico couldn’t focus on anything but how good and right it felt.

He needed Adrian’s hand, he couldn’t move his own from where he was braced against the shower wall, but in his muddled, pleasure soaked brain, he couldn’t find the words to ask. Instead he found himself moaning incoherently and pushing his own hips backwards, forcing Adrian to fuck him faster, harder. Everything felt so urgent and vital to him, as if they hadn’t spent the night doing variations on this very theme. Wanting Adrian was nothing new to Nico, but the way he reacted to Adrian’s own unrelenting demands on him hit Nico deeper than ever. This was clearly about so much more than sex, and yet Nico hadn’t been so turned on by anything for as long as he could remember. He wasn’t sure if he should feel guilty or not.

When Adrian’s hand finally landed on his cock, Nico felt like he might have gotten it there through sheer willpower. He cried out gratefully, moving into the touch. Adrian squeezed him, running his hand up and down in a gratifyingly quick motion, and Nico tried to find a rhythm with his hips that pushed his cock into Adrian’s hand while still making sure that Adrian was thrusting as deeply into him as possible. He felt greedy, wanting everything, so focused on what he was doing that he barely noticed how Adrian’s other hand was digging almost painfully into his hip.

He felt himself slipping and somehow he knew that it was through Adrian’s design; somehow he knew that he was supposed to. The water that ran over his body felt hotter and he wondered if they’d knocked the controls or if he was just burning up. He yearned for cool water, something to stop the steam suffocating his gasping lungs. He tried to lift his head for clearer air but it felt too heavy and the burning low down in his gut was threatening to consume him.

He moaned, responding shamelessly to the way Adrian was flicking his wrist to play his fingers over the head of Nico’s cock, and then he was gone, spilling himself against the shower wall as his head spun and he couldn’t tell the difference between the drops of water and the pleasure that was tickling at his flesh. Everything seemed to come crashing down on him, Adrian’s strained noises mixing in with his own abandoned moans, and he could barely tell where he ended and Adrian began. Could barely tell until Adrian pulled unceremoniously out of him, clearly done. Nico made a disappointed noise at the sensation, body shifting back to find him, but he heard the shower curtain pulled back and he knew that he was gone.

Nico tried to catch his breath, tried to stop his shaking legs from buckling under him. He reached out, fumbling with the controls until he got the shower to a more comfortable temperature, and then he forced himself to stand up straight. He washed himself under the stream of water, cleaning all the evidence from his body. He didn’t let his mind linger on Adrian’s quick departure for too long. He wasn’t going to read too much into it. Adrian was struggling with a lot of things right now, but mostly with himself. If he needed space, Nico could be mature enough to give it to him.

He stepped from the shower, taking a clean towel from the rack and drying himself off. He tied it securely around his waist and then headed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where he’d left his bag the night before. He took it through to Adrian’s bedroom and dressed in clean clothes. When he got back to the living room, Adrian was sat cross-legged on the floor, looking over some sheet music. He didn’t react to Nico’s presence, hadn’t reacted to any of his trips through the room, so Nico turned away, intending to make himself a drink, when the voice took him by surprise.

“I’m sorry.”

Nico turned back to face Adrian who was looking up at him. “Why are you sorry?”

Adrian stared at him for a moment and Nico noted that he clearly hadn’t dried himself off properly from the shower. His T-shirt was damp, sticking to him in places, and the collar had wet spots from where his hair had dripped. He looked back down at the sheet music in front of him.

“I’m looking for a song,” he said. “I can’t find it.”

“Maybe I can help,” Nico offered, grabbing at the thread. He moved into the room, kneeling by Adrian’s side and looking at the scattered papers. “What’s it called?”

“I don’t know,” Adrian said sadly. “I’m... I’m not looking for _a_ song, not one song. I’m looking for a song for how I feel.” With a sigh he placed the music in his hands back down on the floor. “I used to be good at this.”

“You’re still good at it,” Nico assured him, remembering the skilful way he’d played earlier that morning.

“I feel like I’m not one thing or the other anymore,” Adrian stated. Nico finally felt like he understood what he was saying. He’d left one dream for another and now he was left with two incomplete stories.

“Play something for me,” Nico requested. Adrian shook his head. “I like it when you play.”

“I should tidy up,” Adrian stated, starting to gather together the pages.

“I’ll do that,” Nico told him.

Adrian shuffled through the songs he was holding. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“No,” Nico said, not allowing for a second’s hesitation.

Adrian brought a piece of sheet music to the front of his pile. “I used to love this one when I was a kid.”

Nico reached over and took it from his hand. He got to his feet and placed the sheet music onto the piano, ready to be played. Adrian just watched him, showing no indication that he intended to move.

“Play it,” Nico requested. “Play it and I’ll tidy up and then it’ll all be good as new.”

Adrian snorted a humourless laugh. He got to his feet, moving over to Nico and pulling him into a hug. Nico couldn’t tell whether it was supposed to be for his benefit or for Adrian’s. He hugged back though, holding Adrian close. Adrian let go, looking at the sheet music sitting on the piano.

“Sometimes I can’t remember what day it is,” he said.

“It’s Tuesday,” Nico told him.

“Tuesday,” Adrian repeated, nodding slightly.

“We should go for a walk later,” Nico suggested. He had a feeling it had been a while since Adrian had been out of the house.

“Okay,” Adrian agreed, sitting down at the piano. “We can get lunch. I don’t have much food.”

He began to play, the tune ringing out through the room, and Nico allowed himself to get lost in the movement of Adrian’s fingers for a moment. The song was gentle but somehow hopeful and Nico found it soothing as he turned his attention to picking up the pieces that Adrian had scattered about.


End file.
